Aug/Sep 2009
OCD & ME by Ben Gander
This is the story of Mark, an obsessive compulsive, who as a young man finds that his disorder starts to affect every part of his life. When he finds love, his illness threatens to debilitate him completely. He cannot explain OCD and how it affects him to others, so puts himself under intolerable strain trying to hide the effect it is having on him.
The book is semi autobiographical to allow for artistic freedom and as Ben puts it, 'to protect the innocent’ but the essence of Ben’s story is the truth and graphically portrays the extent of his illness, the events that surround it, the symptoms, obsessions, compulsions and rituals and his subsequent stay in hospital.
‘The mind can make a heaven out of hell or a hell out of heaven’. This is a quote from John Milton which Ben uses in his book. It depicts the reality of living with severe OCD, how all consuming it can become.
This book draws the reader in. It is open and honest, gritty, often funny and sometimes opinionated. Mark meets Tiana, they fall and love and eventually marry in July 2004, a fantastic day which OCD fortunately does not spoil. The next few months continue to be perfect, planning for the future and a family. With this comes responsibility and with responsibility comes anxiety, a new job in Canary Wharf, the worst job Mark has ever had. OCD strikes once again, a monster, playing on doubts and fears. For Mark exhaustion sets in, His wife is not able to understand his ‘stupid’ thoughts and near to collapse, Mark attempts suicide. He finally tells his wife everything and thankfully she stands by him. Together they see the doctor.
Things get worse before they get better. Following the birth of his daughter, Mark’s obsessions and rituals eventually become unbearable for him and his family. On holiday in France he is admitted to hospital. Following a breakdown he is admitted to hospital nearer home. Mark’s journey does make for uncomfortable reading but is done in such a way that anyone wishing to understand the misery and complexity that is OCD, maybe a partner or a therapist could learn from it.
Recovery, whilst slow and painful, does happen. Ben describes it as a journey and now practices turning a weakness into a strength. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy taught him that once confronted, anxiety will lessen and once again become manageable. This book, Ben says, is ultimately for people who suffer from OCD, directly or indirectly.
Ben is well now, has a job, a wonderful wife and child. OCD & Me by Ben Gander is an enlightening book, not always easy to read. It shows the reality of living with OCD from the point of view of a sufferer. It depicts not only what it has done to his life and that of his wife and family and the hard work involved in recovery but also the light at the end of the tunnel. Ben has recovered from OCD, in that he has learnt the tools needed to control it and has written this book about his experience. I learnt from it. However No Panic respectfully points out that the imagery is powerful, the language and sexual content sometimes graphic. If this offends this may not be the book for you.
ISBN 978-0-9559926-0-5 Gander Publications, Petersfield
Available from Amazon @ £9.49 And all good book shops
Nancy’s Book Review
Free Yourself From Anxiety
A self help guide to overcoming anxiety disorders
by
Emma Fletcher and Martha Langley
Many books have been written on the subject of self help for anxiety, so it must be difficult to make a new publication stand out from the rest. The first thing I noticed about this book is the attention to detail; it has been presented with a great deal of care. The book feels good to handle, the paper quality is good and the cover shows a calming blue sky with birds flying in the clouds. It looks ‘user friendly’.
Free Yourself From Anxiety takes its readers step by step through facing their fears to overcoming them. Each step is covered, including options as to what the outcome might be and what to do if things do not go according to plan. I have even heard it described as ‘like having a personal twenty four hour therapist’. What an accolade! The layout of the book is clear and concise, the language easy to understand with none of the dreaded jargon.
Who is the book for? Certainly anxiety sufferers, as various forms of anxiety are explained in some detail together with many options on how to address these conditions, such as phobias (including agoraphobia and social phobia), obsessive compulsive disorder, panic attacks and generalised anxiety disorder. Anyone wishing to know more about anxiety conditions would benefit from reading this book, partners, family, and friends of sufferers, doctors and therapists. Throughout the book pages are dedicated to discussions by group members on various topics. These pages are highlighted so can be easily found. These examples are taken from real life, from anxiety sufferers who understand the suffering anxiety causes. Their contributions are in their own words and have not been changed.
How can you best use this book? It is so well laid out that the reader can chose to read it all or dip in and out of the various sections as you chose. Emma and Martha suggest four ways in which this book might help. Firstly, relief from the worst aspects of anxiety and managing your present life in a better way, recovering from your current bout of anxiety, dealing with problems in the future and finally, growing as a person and developing unused potential.
In Part One of the book, subjects covered include goal setting, relaxation, diet, exercise, the causes of anxiety disorders, sleep patterns, lifestyle changes and the connection between mind, body and spirit.
Part Two moves on to taking the next step, examining anxiety behaviours, looking at change, exposure work, the effect on family and friends and how to cope with setbacks.
Using the analogy of a scene at The Old Bailey Court, Part Three puts anxiety on trial. This section is extremely interesting and I learnt from it. Anxious thinking is a vicious circle with your core beliefs as the source of energy that drives the thoughts round and round. You can change these negative core beliefs and this book tells you how.
Part Four asks ‘Why Me’? How can you deal with withheld feelings? Some of the useful suggestions are talking, writing, physical action, identifying negative emotions, learning to become assertive, building self confidence and self esteem. The message being ‘It’s okay to be me’.
Emma Fletcher and Martha Langley have co written this book after years of helping people with anxiety problems. They are both passionate about helping people to recover. Emma has years of experience as a counsellor and of training counsellors and volunteers on anxiety help lines. Martha is a writer who has worked for ten years as a volunteer on anxiety help lines.
There is so much help, support and information in this book, ‘Free Yourself From Anxiety’ it is impossible to cover everything in this review. Suffice to say I was very impressed and I am sure you will be too. ISBN No:- 978-1-84528-311-7
From all good book shops Cover Price £9.99 Amazon £6.49.